Couples Relationship Checkup
Why a Relationship Checkup?
You see your dentist every year to make sure your teeth stay healthy. You might see your doctor regularly to monitor your physical health. How about keeping your relationship or marriage healthy by having a checkup to identify trouble spots to tackle, or to identify areas that are working so that you and your partner can do more to improve satisfaction?
This is the idea behind a brief two-session, focused look at the strengths and work areas of your relationship.
This is the idea behind a brief two-session, focused look at the strengths and work areas of your relationship.
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What Does it Include?
- A relationship questionnaire that both you and your partner complete independently of each other (this will take approximately 1-2 hours of your time).
- A (50 minutes) or extended (75 minutes) follow-up session, arranged independently of your partner, where you and I will review your relationship strengths, potential areas of improvement, and suggestions for enhancing your relationship.
- A written report for you to keep.
Is a Check-Up Right for Me and My Spouse/Partner?
A checkup is a good fit for couples who are mutually committed to each other and want to strengthen their relationship or marriage, and who have a good balance of strengths and work areas in their relationship but feel that they may just need a "tune-up." For example, you might want to work on improving a specific aspect of your relationship. You might be feeling more distant lately. Or you might be having more difficulty communicating. Sometimes transitions from one life stage to another bring new challenges you haven't dealt with before.
One or both spouses in these situations may often be reluctant to seek couples counselling for various reasons, yet feel limited in their options for addressing their issues. A checkup can be just the right step in such cases.
If your relationship is in a state of crisis, a checkup is probably not the best option for you. Severe discord, lack of commitment from at least one partner, discovery of an affair, episodes of domestic violence, or one partner wanting to end the marriage are examples of a marriage in crisis. In these situations, I recommend more timely and intensive couples therapy. Contact me if you have any of these situations and need help.
One or both spouses in these situations may often be reluctant to seek couples counselling for various reasons, yet feel limited in their options for addressing their issues. A checkup can be just the right step in such cases.
If your relationship is in a state of crisis, a checkup is probably not the best option for you. Severe discord, lack of commitment from at least one partner, discovery of an affair, episodes of domestic violence, or one partner wanting to end the marriage are examples of a marriage in crisis. In these situations, I recommend more timely and intensive couples therapy. Contact me if you have any of these situations and need help.
How Can a Checkup be Beneficial?
- Learn what you can do to create greater closeness, intimacy, support, friendship, love, fun, and happiness in your relationship.
- Appreciate your strengths and enhance positive feelings for each other.
- Find out how your styles of handling conflict impact the health of your relationship or marriage.
- Pinpoint harmful relationship dynamics early on while they are easy to alter before they become entrenched and more difficult to change.
Is the Check-up Couples Therapy?
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While a checkup is not intensive therapy, there are therapeutic components to the process of a relationship checkup. Research has shown that couples who participate in a checkup often make significant improvements to their relationship afterward.
It is educational, practical, and solution-focused. Feedback about your relationship strengths and potential work areas is offered at the second visit and you are free to use this information as you please. Should you wish to pursue couples therapy following the checkup, you can continue working with me or I can provide several referral options that suit your needs and budget. There is no expectation that you continue therapy beyond the two sessions of the relationship check-up.
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What else should know about the assessment?
Your on-line relationship checkup, when completed provides a 50-60 page report, assesses the main portions of John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House which encompasses these main areas:
- Love Maps – how you know each other’s inner worlds
- Fondness and Admiration – how each of you admire and respect each other
- Turning Toward versus Turning Away – whether each of you turn toward your partner, even after small bids for connection, throughout your day
- Managing Conflict – how you and your partner solve and manage conflict
- Shared Meaning and Rituals – the areas of your life in which the two of you share in connection through symbols and daily rituals
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The Relationship Checkup is very detailed and will assess areas such as:
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Additionally, the Relationship Checkup screens for:
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Your privacy is of my utmost importance and priority. When completing the assessment on-line, the Gottman Relationship Checkup website uses 256-bit SSL encryption to secure your connection. No personally identifiable health information is ever transmitted via email which is why the follow-up sessions is highly recommended. The software the site runs on is actively monitored and kept up-to-date with prompt application of the latest security patches. In addition, the Gottman Relationship Checkup is compliant with HIPAA. You can learn more about HIPPA in my client forms page, located within the Polices & Practices to Protect the Privacy of your Health Information document.
After contacting me about your interest, I will send you and your partner a separate and unique email invitation to take the Gottman Relationship Checkup. You and your partner will need to create a personal profile before beginning the assessment. You and your partner's passwords are specific to your information and responses. Neither you nor your partner can access the other’s information at any time unless profile information and passwords are shared. However, I strongly discourage collaboration in order to preserve the integrity and effectiveness of the questionnaire.
After contacting me about your interest, I will send you and your partner a separate and unique email invitation to take the Gottman Relationship Checkup. You and your partner will need to create a personal profile before beginning the assessment. You and your partner's passwords are specific to your information and responses. Neither you nor your partner can access the other’s information at any time unless profile information and passwords are shared. However, I strongly discourage collaboration in order to preserve the integrity and effectiveness of the questionnaire.